#21 Conversation Episode: 爛gag (粵語)
3. 非牟利 fei1 mau4 lei6 (N) non-profit
4. 製作 zai3 zok3 (N/V) production, to produce
5. 匿名 nik1 ming4 (ADJ) anonymous
6. 捐助 gyun1 zo6 (N/V) donation, to donate
7. 盡力 zeon6 lik6 (ADV) to the best of ability
8. 打蛇隨棍上 daa2 se4 ceoi4 gwan3 soeng5 (EXP) seize the opportunity
9. 直接 zik6 zip3 (ADJ/ADV) direct, directly
10. 形式 jing4 sik1 (N) format
11. 古老 gu2 lou5 (ADJ) ancient
12. 動物 dung6 mat6 (N) animal
13. 成世 seng4 sai3 (ADV) the whole life
14. 長高 zoeng2 gou1 (VC) to grow in height
15. 明顯 ming4 hin2 (ADJ) obvious
16. 邏輯 lo4 cap1 (N) logic
17. 關事 gwan1 si6 (ADJ/VO) relevant, to be related to
18. 接近 zip3 gan6 (ADJ/V) close, to get close
19. 爬 paa4 (V) to crawl
20. 龜苓膏 gwai1 ling4 gou1 (N) turtle shell jelly
21. 表情 biu2 cing4 (N) facial expression
22. 典型 din2 jing4 (ADJ) typical
23. 表現 biu2 jin6 (N) behavior
24. 哭笑不得 huk1 siu3 bat1 dak1 (EXP) to not know whether to cry or laugh
25. 羽毛 jyu5 mou4 (N) feather
26. 毛髮 mou4 faat3 (N) hair
27. 牽涉 hin1 sip3 (V) to concern, to involve
28. 現象 jin6 zoeng6 (N) phenomenon
29. 局限 guk6 haan6 (V/N) to limit, limitation
30. 傳統 cyun4 tung2 (ADJ/N) traditional, tradition
31. 魚蛋粉 jyu4 daan2 fan2 (N) fish ball noodles
32. 牛腩 ngau4 naam5 (N) beef brisket/flank
33. 忍(唔住)笑 jan2 m4 zyu6 siu3 (VO) (unable) to hold laughter
34. 原理 jyun4 lei5 (N) principle
35. 周圍 zau1 wai4 (N) everywhere, surrounding
36. 完全 jyun4 cyun4 (ADV/ADJ) completely, complete
37. 有道理 jau5 dou6 lei5 (ADJ) reasonable, making sense
38. 放棄 fong3 hei3 (V) to give up
39. 俗語 zuk6 jyu5 (N) slang
41. 態度 taai3 dou6 (N) attitude
42. 古惑仔 gu2 waak6 zai2 (N) punk, rascal; also features in the name of films in the Young and Dangerous series
43. 差異 caa1 ji6 (N) difference
44. 絕交 zyut6 gaau1 (VO) to break off relations, to stop talking to each other
45. 嚴重 jim4 zung6 (ADJ) serious, severe
ADJ - Adjective
ADV - Adverb
EXP - Expression
N - Noun
V - Verb
VC - Verb complement
VO - Verb object
Cameron: 我哋今日有啲人係好似好鍾意聽我哋個 podcast。我唔知點解，但係 Raymond 你可以講下。
(Today we have some people who seem to like listening to our podcast. I don’t know why, but I’ll let Raymond explain.)
Raymond: 係，我都好感動1啦，都多謝大家支持。即係用行動2支持我哋，好感激。因爲其實 Cameron 之前都有講過嘅，我哋去做呢個節目呢，都唔係爲咗賺錢嘅，即係呢個我哋都叫做非牟利3嘅。噉但係當然啦，如果你哋支持嘅話呢，我諗我哋都唔會攞啲錢去買咖啡嘅。其實我哋會攞啲錢去擺返喺我哋嘅製作4上邊啦。噉喺度呢，我都借呢個機會呢，多謝三位嘅支持者。噉佢哋分別係 Cassian、流淚谷，噉同埋呢一位匿名5嘅捐助6啦。噉呀好多謝你哋。噉我哋會盡力7去將呢個節目做得更好啦。
(Yes, I am also quite moved, and thanks to everyone for the support. I am very grateful for the active support. As Cameron has said before, in doing this podcast, we’re not trying to earn money, we both see it as a non-profit endeavor. But of course, if you do support us, we’re not going to use it to buy coffee [referencing the “Buy us a coffee” button], we’ll use the money for our production. So we’d like to take this opportunity to thank three of our supporters, and they are Cassian, Lau Leoi Guk, and one anonymous donor. Thank you so much! We’ll try our best to make this program even better.)
Cameron: 係，多謝大家。
(Yes, thank you everyone.)
Raymond: 好呀，噉啦，我哋開始嘅時候，我問下 Cameron 啦。啱啱之前嗰兩集，我哋嘅嘉賓呢，佢都係一個喜劇演員呀，佢做棟篤笑呀，講笑話啦。噉不如我哋就一句說話，我哋所謂“打蛇隨棍上8”，即係我哋繼續呢一個話題呢，我哋今日不如就講下笑話。噉呢種笑話呢，如果喺廣東話裏邊呢，叫做爛 gag 呀。你有冇聽過爛 gag 呀？
(Great, well, it’s time to start, so I will ask Cameron: In the past two episodes, we had a guest who was a comedian, he does stand-up and tells jokes. So we have a saying, “seize the opportunity,” [Literally: the snake coils around the stick that beats it], so let’s continue that topic, let’s tell some jokes today. Now, this type of joke, if you’re using Cantonese, it’s called a “laan6 gag.” Do you know what a laan6 gag is?)
Cameron: 聽過，聽過。
(I’ve heard of them, I’ve heard of them.)
Raymond: 爛 gag，英文係咩呀？
(What is a laan6 gag called in English?)
Cameron: 直接9嘅翻譯係 “broken or rotten jokes”，但係意思就係 “anti-humor”。
(The direct translation is “broken or rotten jokes,” but the meaning is really just “anti-humor.”)
Raymond: 但係我記得我都聽到呀，上集啦阿 Vivek 呢，佢都有叫呢啲呢，喺英文或者喺美國叫 “dad jokes”，即係爸爸講嘅笑話，都有啲噉樣嘅意思。好啦，噉呀今日呢就，我諗個形式10就同我哋之前我哋對話，你上次考我啦，即係嗰啲黑白電影呀、粵語長片裏面一啲比較古老11嘅講法。今日倒返轉呀我就同你講返啲呢，即係可能啲年輕人呀，小朋友呀，佢哋講嗰啲笑話裏面呢，就有好多幽默啦，噉同埋呢，啲語言呀，文化喺裏面嘅。噉即係考下你喇，睇下你可唔可以猜到，或者你可能有啲你都已經知道嘅。好，噉，嗱，我見… 噉我其實我面前有好多，噉呀我見到邊啲我覺得可以討論一下嘅就講啦。好，第一個呢，問題就係問呢，咩動物12呢，成世13都唔會長高14嘅呢？
(But I also remember hearing in the last episode that Vivek say that in English or in America they can be called “dad jokes,” like jokes one’s father might tell, it also has that meaning. Good, so today, the format I thought of today is like our dialogue from before, when you tested me with those black and white movies, old sayings from the Cantonese feature films. Today it’s reversed and I’ll tell some jokes that young people or kids tell that contain a lot of humor, language, and culture. I’m going to test you and see if you can guess, or maybe you already know. Alright, so… I have a lot of jokes in front of me, I’ll say whichever ones I think we can discuss a bit. Alright, so the first one, the question is, “What sort of animal won’t grow taller it’s entire life?”)
Cameron: 咩動物…
(What animal…)
Raymond: 噉如果你想要啲貼士我可以畀你嘅。
(Let me know if you want any hints.)
Cameron: 可唔可以長高嘅…
(Can get taller…)
Raymond: 咩動物成世都唔會長高嘅。噉呀嗱，講到明，呢個爛gag呢，即係佢嗰啲答案呢，就唔會好正常嘅啦。噉個答案呢，其實呢個唔係動物嚟嘅，不過有動物喺裏面。
(What sort of animal won’t get taller during its life? In fact, this laan6 gag, it’s answer is not very normal, in that it’s not actually an animal, but it does have an animal in it.)
Cameron: 係，同埋有時佢哋答案就係好明顯15嘅，或者超明顯嘅。所以你聽到個答案嘅時候你就會覺得，呢個點算笑話。
(Yes, and sometimes the answer can be very obvious, or even overly obvious, so when you hear the answer, you’ll wonder how it even counts as a joke.)
Raymond: 係，噉同埋收聽緊嘅觀衆你都可以跟住一齊估啦。可能有陣時呢啲呢，啲小朋友猜得中呢。一聽到反而佢哋知道，我哋啲大人呢，即係跟邏輯16呢，諗唔到。
(Yes, and listeners can guess along with us. Perhaps sometimes kids will get it right away. They know as soon as they hear it, but us adults, with our logic, we can’t think of it.)
Cameron: So，同“高”相反嘅就係“矮”係唔係？
(So the opposite of “gou1” [tall] is “ai2” [short] right?)
Raymond: 係，高”相反係“矮”啦。噉但係唔關事17，唔關呢個事。
(Yes, the opposite of “gou1” [tall] is “ai2” [short]. But it has nothing to do with that.)
Cameron: 唔關事，好。
(Unrelated, alright.)
Raymond: 你要唔要提示呀？
(Do you want a hint?)
Cameron: 要提示。
(Yes I want a hint.)
Raymond: 係一種食品。
(It’s a food item.)
Cameron: 食品？ 噢! 乜嘢乜嘢蛋糕？
(A food item? Oh! Is it some sort of cake?)
Raymond: 差唔多喇。你噉樣嘅諗法接近18喇。噉但係… 係，噉我…
(Almost. Your thought process is getting there. But… I…)
Cameron: 咩樣動物就係… 係飛嘅動物定係…
(What animal is… Is it an animal that flies or one that…)
Raymond: 爬19嘅動物。
(It’s an animal that crawls.)
Cameron: 係爬嘅動物？豬、馬、牛…
(A crawling animal? Pig, horse, cow…)
Raymond: 係爬嘅。
(It crawls.)
Cameron: 牛。爬嘅… 咩嘢爬嘅？
(Cow. Crawls? What animal crawls?)
Raymond: 有啲乜嘢動物係爬㗎？
(What animals crawl..?)
Cameron: 龜。
(Turtle.)
Raymond: 係喇。
(Yes.)
Cameron: 龜咩糕。龜.. 呀
(Turtle something cake. Turtle…ah.)
Raymond: 你有冇接觸過呀？我相信你應該接觸過嘅。係喇，噉我諗啲觀眾即係聽眾而家應該會估到呀，記唔記得叫咩呀？
(Have you not come across it? I’m sure you should have come across it. Yes, I think our listeners should have guessed by now, do you remember what it is called?)
Cameron: 唔知。
(I don’t know.)
Raymond: 噉我講咗你會明白嗰個意思，因爲呢佢叫“龜苓膏20”呀。所以而家呢，觀眾呢…
(When I say it, you will understand the meaning, as it is called gwai1 ling4 gou1 [turtle shell jelly, but also a homophone for the characters 歸零高, or “back to zero height”]. So now, listeners….)
Cameron: 大家睇唔到我，而家我嘅面…
(They can’t see my face right now…)
Raymond: 係喇，聽眾睇唔到 Cameron 嘅表情21。呢個呢，就係好典型22呢，啲爛 gag 呢，大家聽到個答案嘅表現23。即係我哋都叫“哭笑不得24”。
(Yes, the listeners can’t see Cameron’s expression. This is quite classic for a laan6 gag, the expression on people’s face when they hear the answer. We call it “not knowing whether to laugh or cry.”
Cameron: 龜苓膏…
(Turtle shell jelly…)
Raymond: 係喇，又喊又笑噉樣。好喇，噉我哋不如繼續啦。嗱，我諗之後嗰啲會快啲嘅。
(Yes, you are both crying and laughing. Okay, let’s continue. I think it will get faster.)
Cameron: 好。
(Ok.)
Raymond: 嗱，噉呢個呢，呢個我真係都聽過。咩嘢“毛”呢，即係嗰啲羽毛25、毛髮26嘅“毛”啦。咩嘢“毛”呢，係最普通嘅？
(Now this one, I’ve actually hear this one. What sort of “mou4” [hair], as in the mou4 in feather, hair, etc., what sort of “mour4” is the most commonplace?)
Cameron: 噢, “nor-毛” (normal)？
(Ah, nor-mou4.[Hong Kong pronunciation of “normal”)
Raymond: 你好叻喎，係呀。
(Very smart, yes.)
Cameron: 係呀係呀，呢個聽過。
(Yeah, yeah, I heard this one before.)
Raymond: 噉呢，但係我覺得呢個幾有趣嘅。即係呢個問題呢，就牽涉27到呢，我哋近年語言學，我之前都有講過嘅，叫做 “translanguaging”，即係跨語言嘅一個現象28。即係而家好多人講嘢呢，即係唔係淨係局限29一個傳統30語言嘅。好噉呀呢個難唔到你啦，噉我問下一個囉喎。你去香港應該熟呢啲食品啦。魚蛋粉31呢，噉就有魚蛋啦，係咪？
(Well, I think this is quite interesting. This question brings in some recent linguistic research, something I brought up before called “translanguaging,” a phenomenon where you cross languages. A lot of people these days talk in ways not limited to a traditional language. This shouldn’t be hard for you, I’ll ask the next one. You should be familiar with this food item when you go to Hong Kong. Fish ball noodles have fish balls, yes?)
Cameron: 係。
(Yes.)
Raymond: 牛腩32粉呢，有牛腩啦。
(And beef brisket noodles have beef brisket, yes?)
Cameron: 係。
(Yes.)
Raymond: 噉乜嘢粉呢，有雪糕呀？
(Now what sort of noodles have ice cream?)
Cameron: 有雪糕？
(Have ice cream?)
Raymond: 好好笑呀，我真係忍唔住笑33。
(It’s quite funny. I can’t hold back my laughter.)
Cameron: 雪…
(Ice…)
Raymond: 呢個問題同頭先個問題原理34係一樣㗎。
(This question is related to the principle I just mentioned.)
Cameron: 雪… 雪芳… emm… 係咪乜嘢蛋糕？
(Syut3… syut3 fong1… emmm… is it some sort of cake?)
Raymond: 唔係，噉我問多一次啦。噉呀呢個係一個提示嚟嘅。魚蛋粉呢，就有魚蛋啦。牛腩粉呢，就有牛腩啦。噉乜嘢粉呢，有雪糕呀？
(No, I’ll ask again. This is a hint. Fish ball noodles have fish balls. Beef brisket noodles have beef brisket. So what type of noodles have ice cream?)
Cameron: 雪糕粉…
(Ice cream noodles…)
Raymond: 你喺香港生活過，你應該知。
(You’ve live in Hong Kong, you should know.)
Cameron: 係、係。所以應該就係，有雪糕，有乜嘢粉係有雪糕嘅。
(Yes, yes. So it should be, it should have ice cream, but what sort of noodle (fan2) has ice cream…)
Raymond: 香港好多嘅，周圍35都係。有雪糕喎，真係有雪糕嘅喎。
(There are a lot in Hong Kong, all around. They have ice cream, they really have ice cream.)
Cameron: 真係有雪糕？我諗嘅就係，我幾時買雪糕，我就會去嗰個 Seven-Eleven。
(They really have ice cream? I am thinking about how if I wanted to buy ice cream, I would just go to Seven-Eleven…)
Raymond: 係呀，你咪講咗囉。
(Yes, you just said it.)
Cameron: seven-ele-ven (粉)… se-ven…
(Seven-ele-fen (fen2)... se-fen.)
Raymond: 我覺得呢，你應該聽多啲，真係好搞笑呀我真係覺得。
(I think you should listen more, I think it’s quite funny.)
Cameron: 係呀，因爲我覺得呢，可能其他人，我唔知，就係香港，我好少會去嗰個ice-cream parlour，我都係。但係香港，一定會去 seven 買呢啲嘢。所以呢個我覺得完全36有道理37，但係真係，呢個...
(Yes, because I think that perhaps other people [abroad] don’t know that in Hong Kong, you don’t usually go to an ice-cream parlor, like me. In Hong Kong, you would definitely go to Seven [how Seven-Eleven is referred to in Hong Kong]. So I think that it makes total sense, but it’s really…)
Raymond： 你下次，因為我諗呢，如果你問返喺香港，甚至其實·台灣都係啦，不過台灣唔知佢地點樣讀呢？即係你問佢哋，佢一定係好...
(Next time, I think, if you ask in Hong Kong or even in Taiwan–though I don’t know how it is said in Taiwan? If you asked them, would they really…)
Cameron: seven，都係 seven，都係 seven。
(Seven, it’s also “Seven.”)
Raymond： 好驚訝，台灣可唔可以噉樣問呢？ 粉...台灣都得嘅喎。（國語）咩嘢咩嘢粉，有什麼，咩嘢粉，有什麼... 跟住咩嘢粉有冰淇淋？噉樣。跟住...
(Amazing, can you ask it like that in Taiwan? Fen also works in Taiwan. [Next part interspersed with Mandarin] “Something something noodle” has “something,” “something noodle” has “something.” And then what sort of fen has ice cream? Like that. And…)
Cameron: 可以可以。
(You can, you can.)
Raymond：呢個太好笑喇，我真係覺得。你而家頭係咪好痛呀？
(This is too funny, I think. Does your head hurt now?)
Cameron: 係呀，而家就放棄38學廣東話，哈哈。
(Yes, I am giving up learning Cantonese now.)
Raymond： 唔好放棄呀，真係唔好放棄呀。
(Don’t give up, really don’t give up.)
Cameron: 或者放棄學英文...係呀，我...
(Or I am giving up learning English.. yes, I…)
Raymond：呢個啦，其實呢個問題我要改一改，有好多問法嘅。好啦或者簡單啲啦。又係動物，但係呢個動物你一定識嘅。有啲咩動物呢，識講廣東話？
(Actually, I want to change this question a little, there are many ways to ask it. Or a simpler way. It’s also about animals, but it’s an animal you definitely know. What animal knows how to speak Cantonese?)
Cameron: 所以我而家諗嘅，佢哋同嗰個動物嘅聲音，佢發出嘅聲音有關係，係唔係呀？
(So right now what I am thinking is, is that it has to do with the sound the animal makes, right?)
Raymond： 你諗下，係啦呢個動物基本動物嚟嘅。
(Think about it, yeah, it’s a very basic animal.)
Cameron: 係咪一種鳥？
(Is it a sort of bird?)
Raymond： 唔係。
(No.)
Cameron: 所以...
(So…)
Raymond： 你識得嘅呢啲基本嘅動物。
(You know these basic animals.)
Cameron: 貓？
(Cat.)
Raymond： 唔係。
(No.)
Cameron: 狗？
(Dog?)
Raymond： 唔係啦。
(No.)
Cameron: 有... 馬？有羊？
(Horse? Sheep?)
Raymond： 馬點叫？羊又點叫呢？
(What do horses say? What do sheep say?)
Cameron: Oh！但係羊係咪 “咩～咩～咩～”？
(Oh! Don’t sheep go “me1 me1 me1?”)
Raymond： 係呀。你估到喎，好嘢喎。
(Yes, you thought of it, well done.)
Cameron: 係呀。
(Yes.)
Raymond：一個呢，好好笑㗎，如果呢你去 YouTube 呢，或者你上網呢，你撳有啲羊嗰啲嘅片呢，跟住佢哋全部一齊叫呢，真係好似全部一齊講廣東話“咩嘢～”，好搞笑呀。
(This one is quite funny, if you look on YouTube or go online, if you click on clips with sheep, if seems like they are all speaking Cantonese together, “me1~” it’s very funny.)
Cameron: “咩～咩～”同埋嗰個“咩”度就有個“羊”字係咪呀？
(Me1 me1… And also the character for me1 has a sheep radical, right?)
Raymond： 係呀，係呀。呢個亦都係因爲噉樣，所以個“咩”字呢係“口”、一個“羊”啦。呀呢個，噉呢其實呢個問題，仲有另外一個版本嘅。佢話，呢個亦都你都學到一個俗語39啦。佢話“咩動物最寸40呀？”即係話人“好寸”呢，你有冇聽過呢個講法呀？其實“寸”係即係對你態度41好唔好嘅。即係佢睇唔起你、睇低你嘅，好睇小你嘅。
(Yes, yes. This is also a reason, the character is made of a “sheep” radical and a “mouth” radical. This question actually has another version. They say, well you can also learn a colloquial saying from this. They say, “What animal is the most cocky?” Like when they say someone is “very cyun3,” have you heard this saying before? Cyun3 describes how their attitude toward you isn’t good, like they look down on you or think little of you.)
Cameron: 睇小其他人？
(They look down on other people?)
Raymond： 係喇，係喇，佢甚至可以係一個動詞呀。“佢寸我呀”，即係話呢，佢講啲嘢呢，說話呢...
(Yes, yes, it can even be used as a verb. “He cyun3 me.” It means the way he talks, speaks…)
Cameron: 哦。
(Ah.)
Raymond： 你睇嗰啲古惑仔42嗰啲電影可能會噉樣講嘢囉。
(If you see the Young and Dangerous films, you might say they talk like this.)
Cameron: 係，所以你，如果... 呢個都係羊，係咪？因為“咩嘢～咩嘢～咩～”。
(Yes, so if, if it’s also sheep, yes? Since they go “me1 something, me1 something…”)
Raymond：係呀，係。“咩嘢呀？咩嘢呀？咩嘢呀？”
(Yup. “What are you saying? What going on? What’s up?” [Note: all three sentences are the same, but it is a generic set phrase that can be used in different inquiries to convey a cyun3 attitude.])
Cameron: “咩嘢呀？”
(“What’s going on?”)
Raymond： 好，噉呢，嗱，所以呢，呢個亦都幫到你去了解啲文化上嘅差異43啦。好啦，噉呀 Cameron 我都見到你，我希望你今日呢之後嘅廣東話有進步，唔好放棄。其實廣東話進步咗㗎喇，聽完之後。同埋呢，我鼓勵你去考返你身邊嘅人啦。
(Good, so this also can help you learn about some cultural differences. Good, Cameron, I noticed some improvement from you today and hope it continues that you don’t give up. Your Cantonese really improved. Also, I encourage you to go test the people around you [with these laan6 gag].)
Cameron: 其實如果我問佢哋，佢哋可能就後嚟唔算我嘅朋友。
(But if I go ask them, they might not be my friends afterwards.)
Raymond： 同你絕交44呀？冇咁嚴重45。
(Like to cut you off? It shouldn’t get that serious.)